Why are you such a jerk-off?

Every morning for the past several months, you and I have shared the same morning routine. Get on the bus, get off the bus, get a coffee. Every morning. This could potentially be a rather enjoyable experience for the both of us.

The first few times I saw you get on the bus, I am not ashamed to say I found you attractive. You were overweight and had a shaved head, and wore white shorts. I tried smiling at you a few times. I figured seeing a friendly face would ease the transition into your workday. But you never smiled back. Not once.

So, I stopped smiling. I brough a book along so I could bury my face into it when you got on. I've tried intermittedly to make eye contact, hoping that your sourpuss mood had lifted. But no, not once.

I've gotten over the rejection. Yeah, I've moved on, man.

Now I see you for who you are. You're a self-centered, bald, white-short wearing jerk-off. Every morning you race me to ring the bell. You never let me pull it. It's some sick race for you, isn't it? Not only that, but you NEVER let me off first!! We get off at the SAME stop, every morning, and you always rush to get off first. You're a grown man!! And you wear those GODDAMN SHORTS EVERY FUCKING DAY! THAT'S GROSS!! HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF HYGIENE???

You never hold the door open at Tim's, either. I've stood behind you line countless times, and not a smile, not a hello, not a "you're creepy and please stop smiling at me".

Well, you won't have me to kick around anymore, bucko.

I'm going to work an hour early.